At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
