Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
