I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this boner is exhausting
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
