He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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