So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
