The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
