Non-Jews are for practice
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
