last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize