i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ladies don't puke and tell
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize