Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize