i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
God, you're like boner-b-gone
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
