I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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