My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
