I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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