1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
