Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
