i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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