dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
