Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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