imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
