Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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