we're blogging at a bar
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
