After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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