i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
