My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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