i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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