Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
