handjob tips. give me some.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
