I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
