these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
