my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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