I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize