just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
