I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
