Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
if only i could text you this smell
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am available for nakedness
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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