Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
