I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
