Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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