After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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