You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
