Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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