Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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