I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
