so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
