he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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