You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
