i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I want to fling myself into the sun
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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