we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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