party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
