I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
