Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
