We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize