My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
