So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
